Happy New Year ! - a Challenging 2009 ahead

The very best from my family to your's during the Christmas holidays. Finally the weather has improved and expect to see many on our fantastic facility at Wapiti with their new skis and snowboard gear.

For many it's a time of reflection and for me personally a time of thankfulness for many friends and family and co-workers who make my job and this blog so much fun. I especially thankful for "The Weather". I'm not a cold fan - but I'm a snow fan and though many would disagree I'd much prefer a little shovelling, to a minus 50 temperature and a fozen florescent orange extension cord.

The New Year will be a challenging one - for all of us. Economics in the US do reflect the economics in Canada to a certain measure; and we all expect big things from the new President of the United States. But - we still have to hold our own in Canada. Don't forget your local merchants - and don't forget that they - like Broadcasters - depend on your business in the months ahead. I shop local - and hope that you'll support your favorite businesses in 2009.

Please pray for and remember out troops in Afghanistan - and every Friday make it a resolution to wear something Red on Fridays. These men and women put their lives on the line every day so that we may live in this great Country called Canada. Happy New Year to all and Peace to all. How bout' a few odds and sodds to take us thru to 2009.

KNIEVEL GOES TO VEGAS _ Robbie Knievel, the 46-year-old son of the late daredevil Evel Knievel, will jump the fire-spewing volcano at The Mirage hotel-casino in Las Vegas on a motorcycle as part of a television special on New Year's Eve.

Predictions for 2009 -

New Brunswick, Newfoundland, and Nova Scotia will have to decide either to join a sovereign Quebec or move to the Northwest Territories.

As aging continues to spread in, Cher's largest tattoo will get 20% larger.

Televised sessions of Parliament will be moved to The Comedy Channel.

The Rubik’s Cube will experience a comeback after Jim Carrey solves one on "The Tonight Show" with his lips.... and The National Hockey League will discourage fighting by making the players pay their own dental bills.

Scientists have found a hole in Earth's magnetic field, it’s called Wall Street

One of the more weird stories of 2008 - TEXTING TO THE ALIENS -Some in Britain are paying to have their text messages beamed into space. Hundreds of people are paying $15 to have their text beamed into the cosmos on radio waves using a giant satellite transmission dish. A customer says"I am certain their are aliens out there, and by using this, who knows I might get lucky and my text could be the first thing from earth they see." Can you say ‘scam’ boys and girls.

Still one pair of tickets left for our trip to Puerto Plata this February. If you want to join Maureen, myself and family be sure to call CAA travel in Prince Albert. Treat yourself in 2009. We're very much looking forward for you to join us.

-- Bill --

It's Time for a Meaningful Relationship with Santa Claus

SIGNS THE HOLIDAY SEASON HAS GOTTEN AWAY FROM YOU
Everyone on your list this year is getting gum
You're just now sending out last year's Christmas cards
Your family draws everybody else's name and someone get your name as a penalty
Try as hard as you like, no one buys that Christmas pumpkin on the porch
After a year's worth of teasing about the Christmas tree still being up, NOW who's the smart one?

The Top 5 floats we want to see in the Nipawin Parade of Lights !
5...The Plumber Association Bent Pipe Band
4...Willy’s Taxidermy....Pet’s on Display Float
3... Parade O’ Marked Down Mini-Vans
2...The Nipawin Fire Department’s million miles of hose Truck, driver Les McGirr
1 …. the guy who works at the arena....his souped up Purple Duster, Mayor Day in the back seat

Welcome Laverne and Myrna Thomas of Tisdale – they are the owners of Discount Furniture and Warehouse on Highway 35 – folks that tune in pretty early.

Here’s a new word for Christmas – Banquet Beagle – ie – glutton “last time we had him at a fowl supper he inhaled a whole pie.

Watson have a beautiful light display this year and the biggest Santa Claus in Saskatchewan – they had a great kick off for their Christmas season and good morning to the McNab park committee – John Degoyer, Bill Sproule, Sherri Beamans, Debbie Schwartz, Myron Knaffle, Dan Fetter and Mayor Ted Riefferschied.

Saturday December 20th will be the busiest shopping day this year….there will be 500 debit and credit card purchases every second – doesn’t sound like much because you did 500 of your own on the weekend.

Got an email – Sarah Palins new book – “Just pay Shipping” – now that’s an interesting name for a new book. It must be about cross border shoplifting or something.

Wonder if Santa has enough coal for all the politicians this year.

Party411.com – fruitcake – centerpiece with branches, holy and candles. Holiday Door Knocker, Candle Holder, Knife holder, Guest towel holder (that takes 2 fruitcakes) – and place card holders.

NFL - We’re slowly getting closer to the end of the NFL season ...still not close enough to declare a champion in the office pool but close enough that a few are out of the running.

NORAD has a new web site for tracking Santa….. go to www.noradsanta.org and they’ll start tracking the big man at 6 a.m. on Christmas eve.

Santa makes 822.6 visits a second – no bad for an overweight 187 year old.

One thing about shopping on line - you can’t shop at the last minute like us guys are supposed too.

On Line shopping tip Number 9 – type carefully you don’t want herrings instead of earrings.

Later on the show this morning we’ll count up the Christmas shopping bruises.

Here’s where your kids would never look ...• In a box marked ‘Halloween Decorations’.• Inside the family luggage.• In a carton marked ‘Cleaning Supplies’.• Under your kid's bed.– “Parenting Magazine”

Claxton, Georgia has it written right on it’s water tower…. Fruitcake Capital of the World….the Georgia Fruit Cake Company is headquartered there – thought you may want to know where it came from – we cracked our first for supper last night

There’s a Christmas special that’s apparently been around for a couple of years called… Davey and Goliath’s Snowboard Christmas….in this special Davey goes snowboarding with his Muslim and Jewish friends and they discuss the differences in their holidays…. You know… amid talk of how they totally shredded that mountain dude

The Nintendo Wii is hard to find again this Christmas…. and the top games are Guitar Hero and Rock Band - Good luck trying to play Kumbayah on that guitar around the campfire next summer

Santa now has a Podcast and a Blog on line…… it’s being run out of Toronto at the web site santasjournal.com …. On the web site Santa is keeping a journal….

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: I SAW NEIGHBOR STEALING SANTA CLAUS _ A women in Maryland swiping Christmas decorations from her neighbor's lawns. She was found in her home with decorations from at least three area homes. Police were alerted to the thefts when a neighbor reported to police a loud noise at 4:30am and discovered her 4-foot-tall Santa and snowman had been taken from her yard.

THINGS OVERHEARD IN SANTA'S WORKSHOP:• “Whose tiny little fingers are these in the table saw?”• “You know Rudolph's 'naturally red nose'? Collagen injection.”• “I'll build toys for the fat butt, but shaving his back hair is where I draw the line.”• “Hey Santa, YOU try building a PlayStation with nothing but antique Victorian woodcarving tools, chubbo!!”• “Uh-oh! Looks like the big guy drank his lunch again.”

ETIQUETTE RULES FOR THE OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY:• Never mention how nice it is to have a boss who can play Santa without padding.• It's bad form to do a cannonball into the eggnog.• Try to act with dignity, decency and decorum ... even if you are a lawyer.• Do not recommend to the boss that she mix her Chivas with Slim-Fast.• Always carefully replace all the items on the boss’s desk after making out with a sales rep.• Nothing says class like a woman double fisting Seagram’s VO from the bottle.• If your party is ‘cash bar only’, consider quitting your job.

KNIEVEL GOES TO VEGAS on New Years Eve _ Robbie Knievel, the 46-year-old son of the late daredevil Evel Knievel, will jump the fire-spewing volcano at The Mirage hotel-casino in Las Vegas on a motorcycle as part of a television special on New Year's Eve.

TOP FIVE THINGS THAT DRIVE SANTA'S NEIGHBORS NUTS
Reindeer droppings on the lawn
"Doesn't that guy ever work? Oh yeah, once a year!"
Always parking his sleigh out in the street
Elf keggers
All that hammering and sawing in the toy shop

TOP FIVE SIGNS YOU'VE BEEN DOING TOO MUCH CHRISTMAS SHOPPING
VISA has sent you a love note
You've got "Credit Card wrist"
The mall custodian knows your first name
Toys R Us ran out of something and called you to see if you had one
You even bought a gift for the door-to-door window salesman

TOP FIVE FIRST DRAFTS OF FAMOUS CHRISTMAS SONGS
"Jingle Beers"
"Do you smell what I smell?"
"Santa Claus is Coming to An All-Inclusive Club"
"O Little Town of Twisp, Washington"
"It came upon an 11pm Clear"

Christmas toys ... that should’ve never been made ….
Pole Dancer alarm clock – when the alarm goes off dance music plays and disco lights flash and a buxom blonde dancer gyrates around her pole under the spinning disco ball – $25.99

Coffin couch – remind yourself of your own mortality while vegging on the couch watching old re-runs of Six feet under – $3500.oo

Fish Bowl bookends – fish bowl bookends just rubs us the wrong way $32.95

Ticket to heaven – comes complete with travel kit that includes a certificate of your reservation, the official heaven identification card, and a Heaven 101 informational guide. Returns and exchanges not included $12.99

Life Gem – you can’t go wrong with diamonds made from Fluffy’s remains – Life Gems cremates departed pets using the carbon to create a unique gem with a creepy back story $10,000.

Fundies – underwear for 2 probably not what you had in mind when you told your boyfriend to buy you lingerie $9.99 a pair – a pair for a pair

• ‘Destiny Clock’ ... a clock that counts down to zero based on your life expectancy.

• ‘EZ Store Furniture’ ... furniture filled with helium that floats to the ceiling when not being used.• ‘Sunbather Toe Rings’ ... mini-handcuffs used to connect the big toes together, thereby preventing sunburn to the thighs.

The Christmas Season is upon us

TOP FIVE MOST POPULAR SHOWS ON ELF TELEVISION
And the Number One most popular show on Elf TV .."Extreme makeover: Toy Shop Edition"
2 "CSI: Down here!"
3 "Dancing with the Fairies"
4 "Ugly Herbie"
5 "According to Rudolph"

Top Five Favorite Reindeer games

5 Buck .. Buck … Goose
4 Run thru the Open Meadow
3 Getting Blitzened
2 Deer Hide and Seekand the Number One favorite Reindeer game ….. Pull My Antler

Retail and on-line spending were both down in Canada in the third quarter….however the sale of anti-depressants… way up

If you missed a flu clinic the next round of clinics are coming up on Dec 1st … – you know something you can go go google now track where the flu is in North America – and I know you’re going to crawl to the computer and try to find out which country is as sick as you are.

Doing any cards this weekend – ecards are doing a booming business and you can send a card to the armed forces overseas at www.forces.ca

The Anglican Parish of Humboldt is running their store at the Humboldt Mall for Christmas and there’s a ton of Christmas ideas .. check this out Electronic Yodeling Pickle -- The electronic yodeling pickle is a 6-1/2" plastic pickle with a high-tech interior. When you press the pickle's button it belts out a yodel reminiscent of the Swiss Alps. There’s something he hasn’t got.

Michael and Phillip Wyatt in Saskatoon are looking for your support in the “Season For Change” for the Saskatoon crisis nursery – 16 restaurants in Saskatoon will donate a toonie everytime you have a meal.

In the Church bulletin over the weekend – from the Senior Living News – Next Thursday there will be tryouts for choir, they need all the help they can get – and – at the evening service tonight the sermon topic will be “What is Hell”, come early and listen to our choir practice.

SNOW – booming business is snow tires and half of Canadians are putting on snow tires this year and you can’t buy a tire in Quebec. Snow tires make a big difference and you look after them and they last a long time – Blizzacks are a good tire.

Got the Christmas lights up on the weekend – I can tell you one thing – don’t have six cups of coffee before you untangle that mess.

Got the Christmas lights up on the weekend – I checked out all the bulbs, got up on the roof in that sreaming wind – hooked them all up – and 5 lights didn’t work. Why does that happen – it always happens.


Got the Christmas lights up on the weekend – you know how you feel when you look inside a cardboard box from last year and see this ball of green wire – and what looks to be lights – that’s the way you put them away last year – so take a deep breath buddy because you have a long way to go.

In Miami a 14-year-old girl is doing well after surviving 118 days without a heart. [She plans to go into politics.]

Start to think about the Nipawin Parade of lights – always spectacular – and some of the floats are really funny – I get a kick out of the ones where a car is pulling a ski doo trailer, with a Charlie Brown Christmas tree on it advertising John’s taxidermy.

Christmas lights – Post Office People – blinking lights give people headaches – never have 6 cups of coffee before untangling a string of lights

Careful walking in parking lots – I want to sign your Christmas card and not your cast

I’m still holding out on the Barack Obama action figure on ebay for my Christmas present -

Caution while driving – it’s rutting season for the deer – I explained to my wife what rutting season was and now I’m sleeping on the couch.

Major League Baseball owners approved on Thursday a shift of ownership among the Yankees from George Steinbrenner to Hal Steinbrenner. [Pretty much the baseball equivalent of going from Fidel to Raul.]

DALY: John Daly was on a tear on Sunday shooting a bogey free eight under 62 in the final round of the Hong Kong Open

Hanging Christmas Lights tip Number 8 – never put yourself in a position where you have to call the fire department to be rescued – Les Girr and the Nipawin fire department seldom forgets a call like that one.


Brian and the boys at the Post Office – in Canada – this time of year – 40 million pieces of mail a day – admittedly 1/3 of that is junk mail – 40 million pieces of mail – and letters to Santa – make sure you get the Postal Code right – hoh oho – if you happen to get that postal code wrong your letter to Santa could end up in the red light district in Toronto – so take your time.


I’ll admit there’s a couple of things I’m watching on ebay for Christmas – I always get sucked in by the free shipping to Canada – but somewhere along the line – you get the feeling there’s a custom guy following your every keystroke – saying to himself “there’s got to be a way to nail this guy” – when it’s all said and done are we really getting a deal buying from the US on ebay – I don’t understand free trade.

More people buying real trees this year – that means more vacuum cleaners will be sold this Christmas.

• Scientists say ... size matter when it comes to all-you-can-eat buffets. Large people are more likely to use the larger plates and serve themselves immediately instead of first browsing the various options. (“I’m getting a big chunk of that roast beef before it’s all gone!”)

Too Tough Trivia – name 3 words in standard English that begin with the letters ‘dw’.
A – Dwarf, dwell and Dwindle.

Joke from the War Room – what’s the difference between your stock broker and a large pizza – a pizza can still feed a family of four.

FAVORITE CHRISTMAS CAROLS
"The 12 Days of Leftovers"
"Giblet Bells"
"O Little Bird: a Tom, a Hen"
"O Holy Pie"
"We Three Wings

Windows 7 is coming early in 2009 – solving the problems of Vista – here’s a few more features of Windows 7 …• New ‘Excel’ macro calculates exactly how many times Bill Gates can buy your sorry BUTT. • Automatically calls your mom every time you log onto an adult site.• Helpfully locates and destroys all non-Microsoft software on your computer.• Crashes twice as fast as Windows Vista.• Comes with free technical support until 2001!

-- Bill --

Puerto Plata here we come ! and Happy Thanksgiving

Special Thank you to Angel Denis who'll be heading on our trip with us. There's a few people who have upgraded but the great news is there's still room. So call CAA Travel in Prince Albert and talk to Angel at 764 6858 and hop on Bill and Maureen's Winter Escape to Puerto Plata - Dominican Republic. We'll be travelling with an Angel on our shoulder all the way.

For those of you who haven't got your passports - shame. Do it now before that big Christmas rush of your kids coming home from University to live off Mom and Dad for Two weeks. The snow will be flying before you know it. All the travellers on the trip will be gathering in December with Angel, Maureen and I for an orientation party, so you don't want to miss that during the festive season. In the meantime have yourself a Great Thanksgiving, don't forget to vote, and wait till it's about -25 with a 60 km wind to put up the Christmas lights. Haven't done many top fives lately so here's a couple to hold you until we pry ourselves out of the lazy boy after Thanksgiving dinner and write again ......

In Motion Month and it’s time to get a little more exercise – Top Six signs you need more exercise.
6 Your blood type is Ragu
5 You are chased by elephant poachers.
4 Your belly button just popped off and hit someone in the eye
3 You're wearing a belt and didn't know it... AND couldn't see it.
2 You got winded stapling some papers together
And the Number One Sign it’s time for a little more exercise … Your driver's license says, 'Picture continued on other side.'

Thanksgiving weekend is ahead and here are the Top 6 signs you know it’s going to be a great Thanksgiving.
6 Family Irish setter is starting to droul
5 Grammas bringing the shovel out to make dressing
4 Kids are busy shining up the Sterling Silver Trough
3 Dad is busy widening the door frame on the front door
2 The Butterball hotline has you on speed dial - And the Number One Sign you know it’s going to be a great Thanksgiving …. Gluttony like voting is your Canadian Patriotic duty !

The mother turkey is yelling at her kids. She says, "You kids should be ashamed! If your father could see you now he'd roll over in his gravy!"

A Butterball costs so much these days it may as well be a Christmas present.

Having a big turkey dinner -- the Butterball Hall of Fame called twice.

This is a warning…. Today would be a good day to find the scraper for the car ….you want to make sure it’s handy before you walk out in a rush one morning and have to wait for the car heater to defog the windows – or just pour that hot coffee on the windshield – that would do the trick.

MEN FIND WOMEN MORE ATTRACTIVE IN FALL AND WINTER _ You may have broken your back trying to get in shape to squeeze (or not squeeze) into that summer bikini, but if you missed the boat in March, you may not be too late. A study (conducted by Poland’s University of Wroclaw) found that men seem to find women more attractive in fall and winter than in the months of maximum exposure, and they theorize that the scarcity of flesh may make what they do get to see that much more exciting.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: LANDING PLANES HAD TO WAIT FOR CONTROLLER TO WAKE UP _ Two airplanes due to land on a Greek island had to circle above the Aegean sea for more than half an hour because an air traffic controller overslept. Both planes made several failed attempts to contact control tower personnel. The airport's secondary control service assisted the pilots to land after they had circled for 40 minutes. Police said the controller, who was not named, would be suspended.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: AFTER RENOVATION, HORSE NO LONGER ALLOWED IN PUB _ A pub in England has uninvited one of its regular visitors after the place was refurbished. Peggy, a 12-year-old mare, used to enjoy a pint of beer and a package of chips alongside her owner at the Alexandra Hotel (in Jarrow). But she's no longer allowed to hang out at the bar following a makeover which included new carpets. The horse still accompanies her owner, Peter Dolan, on his trip to the pub but has to stay tethered outside.

WACKY-BUT-TRUE: MAN DRINKS AND DRIVES BECAUSE OF HIS DOG _ In the UK a landscape gardener's dog led to him driving while more than three times over the limit. Wayne Clegg called for a taxi after drinking but the driver would not let his dog travel with him. Clegg pleaded guilty to driving under the influence.

-- Bill --

Got any plans this Winter 2009 ?

Oldies CK750 & FM Country CJVR are proud to provide an exciting travel opportunity for all of our listeners!

Myself and Maureen are headed on a winter escape to the Dominican Republic on Thursday, February 19th, 2009, and everyone’s invited to come along.

They’ve set up an incredible travel package with the CAA Travel Agency in Prince Albert and Signature Vacations.

This package includes:

· A roundtrip bus from Melfort to Saskatoon.

· Roundtrip airfare from Saskatoon to Puerto Plata in the Dominican Republic.

· A 7 night stay at a 4 Star, All-Inclusive, Beachfront Resort – the Iberostar Costa Dorada

· 3 meals daily, plus snacks, and all beverages at the resort and disco.

· Non-motorized water sports such as wind-surfing, kayaking, and catamarans.

· Daily activities and evening entertainment.

The resort also has 4 restaurants (1 buffet, 3 a la carte), 4 bars, 1 Pool, 2 Jacuzzis, a Sauna & Steam Room, 2 Tennis Courts, Fitness Facilities, a Shopping Plaza, and a Spa. The resort is only 5 minutes away from an 18 hole golf course and 10 minutes away from downtown Puerto Plata.

To book your package or to find out more information, call 1-800-564-6222 - or log on as a loyal listener. Don't tell anybody - but we 'might' even do our Morning Show from the beautiful Hotel Lobby.

Click on 'log on' - and check out the marvellous trip we have planned for you. What a blast - very affordable for the whole family. For Maureen and I a trip of a lifetime ! Join us !

More pics and information to come. Plan now and book your holiday today. Let's make winter 2009 a Saskatchewan winter to Remember

--- Bill